"Bearing wounds in our heart, we can become aware of other people's pain." (--Aizawa Kousaku; Code Blue 2)
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| あまおと (c) katsuo |
"I wonder what could I do for you."
That line keep appears in my head everytime I see you struggling with yourself.
Maybe I am no one: just one of ordinary friends you have out there, who tend to talk rather than properly listen. Maybe I am no one, even after those almost five years of togetherness. Maybe I am no one, even after those hours of laughing and giggling, or silently crying and fighting together.
Right. Despite all of those maybes, I think I am fine with the way we are now.
... actually, I am scared to talk to you. Like, was I even qualified to talk with you now? Really, that's so absurd. I could say "I care" as much as I want, yet the truth is I have no confidence as your friend.
It's funny, isn't it?
But I think I am fine with all of them. As long as I know you are fine out there, I think I will be fine with this. This might be one of the most important times in your life, and I will just always pray for your happiness.
***
Maybe you have no idea I think about you this much (well, I am not showing it at all, so it's natural). But, if you were found this out and went wondering, I will give you the reason: because you have been became the light in one of the darkest moment in my life. You don't know how terrible that was for me, and you don't realize how you save me with your words, attitudes, and smiles. You are dazzling, you still are. You are human being, with lot of wonderful sides on top of the weaknesses. ... and you are warm.
I really wonder what could I do for you.
But I guess, the answer is: nothing.
Because you have your own way to live your life. And I only hope I could be there for you anytime you need me.
Actually, I kinda worried. Because you tend to push yourself too much when things going hard. But that is also your special traits: hard working and do your best to reach your destinations. ... so I think I could pray for you instead of worrying too much.
Anyway, actually I was surprised that I am such a caring person. Hmm. But maybe it will take me times to learn the art of emphatic listening.
***
... for now, it is enough for me to see you being fine from far virtual place.
(But, if I may be a bit honest, I kinda miss your cheerful-self here and there :) )
Be fine and stay as yourself, my dear friend. May He guides you to the best places, best decisions, and best moments of life. Aamiin.
To my friend; she who is as bright as light :)
